Today is April 1st – and marks the end of my Make Up experiment. I feel I definitely need to apologise to those who may read my blog; I have been the busiest of souls, but this is no excuse. My facilitation course with the all girl school finished in a performance last week, as well as a 2 week research and development showcase for Whole Hog Theatre’s production of Princess Mononoke, as well as auditions here and there along the way. I haven’t seen my friends in a very long time…or the sun.
I have all the imaginary friends I need, thank you. I was basically Goo as a child…
I definitely feel as though it’s the end of…something. I’m no longer a represented artist, as I decided that I wanted to go freelance to explore my options for a while. This ended up happening the same day as my two week research and development rehearsals ended, and everyone who wasn’t London based slowly filtered out of my house, leaving me feeling very much exhausted, alone, and deflated. The empty wallet and lack of rich handsome man to take me out for dinner doesn’t seem to appease the situation, though cheap red wine is greatly improved by mulling – It’s seasonal, sure, but seasons are all year round, and Tesco is selling it off as excess stock (you heard it here first…)
Drinking can become a serious problem if you don’t train everyday…
I was constantly on tubes, writing down different things to write here about what’s happened to me over the last few weeks. It’s now a garbled bunch of notes that look like the lyrics to some kind of cult hymn, but let’s see what we can decipher. Here’s some stuff that I like to think I’ve learnt, or at least deduced:
- ¾ Liz’s agree: Wearing makeup increases productivity by up to 40%…
If I’m preparing for an audition or interview and I have some slap on, I feel more confident, more mature (since I have the face of a child, seriously, nothing is worse than being ID-ed for Anadin…), and like I’ve made an effort for something or someone that I want to appear that way for. And think about it, wouldn’t you be happy to think someone had made an effort for you? Ok, a little far-stretched, I’d prefer chocolate but I think there’s an underlying comparison there.
- Make Up and Men – Final feminist rant, I promise…
This was the worst thing about wearing makeup. I’ve walked down the streets near my home and work countless times wearing my workshop sweats and oversized coat because come on, this is England (good film, terrible weather). I honestly don’t know what goes through the minds of some men. I had some horrific things said to me by men of all colours and ages, but mainly older – 30+ up to 80 years old – with little sisters and daughters. Even when I had my baggiest of clothes on, as soon as they saw my face they made up their minds whether they’d like to bang me or not. Which is actually quite good, considering they can’t see other places and are looking at my face. I’d just love to know where along the way harassment became acceptable because dear lord am I fed up of feeling uncomfortable all the time. Rant over.
- I’d take the extra half an hour in bed…
Second worst. Getting up extra early, doing it on the tube if I was late – just such a hassle. Like shaving my legs, only gonna do it if I know someone I care about is going to see.
- Recognition
This was a weird one. Basically, some people stopped recognising me. I ran into people I knew on the tube, in the street, from all walks of life, and it took them a relatively long time to realise who I was. And it was always concluded with “Oh WOW, don’t you look well?” Yes, my manufactured rosy cheeks give the impression my body isn’t falling apart. Pity you can’t cover up coughing your lungs out and nose blowing. I always ended up with a red nose poking out of the foundation by the end of the day: Cover = Blown. Literally.
- It’s all relative.
So I had many conversations with girls that went something like:
Them: Oh, I can’t imagine not wearing make up
Me: Why?
Them: Because I look ill without it.
Me: Really, what makes you say that?
Them: People always ask me if I’m feeling ok or say that I look tired – and I’m always like no…I just don’t have any make up on.
Me: But if you didn’t wear make up all the time, then that wouldn’t be a thing, because people would get used to you without make up rather than with?
Them: Yea but I couldn’t. I don’t have the face for it like you do. You have like, one of those faces that doesn’t need make up.
Then I’d probably get annoyed and give up because EVERYONE HAS A FACE THAT DOESN’T NEED MAKE UP. We choose to do it, for sure, fine, but to say it’s a necessary requirement because of your type of face – hahaha no. In fact, my skin has never been worse since I started wearing it, all kind of crazy blemishes and spots I haven’t had since the Days of Yore and Yellowcard. Basically, the only reason people say you look tired is because you wear is all the time, and it covers up most natural element of the face – which is what it’s supposed to do. If you want to avoid this response, then start to wean it out. Go to a tinted moisturiser, then just wear eye stuff (technical term). Also now’s the time – barefaced for cancer research awareness – everyone’s doing it for a good cause so any one who comments on your looking ‘tired’ is obviously satan. Feel free to tell them so.
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/?gclid=CNXOla6Qv70CFa-WtAodBksAHA
Conclusion?
I don’t have one. Like I said, wasn’t doing this to have any great epiphany on the theories of female objectification and image. I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy some of the responses I got to wearing more make up. To be honest, I’ll probably do it more often now. Unfortunately, with the world constructed around us like it is, wearing makeup is the same of wearing a good suit. Except we have to buy fancy clothes and good make up. But that’s only necessary in circumstances where you have to confine your behaviour for professional purposes – so naturally, your appearance and demeanour aren’t actually natural. They’re matching the environment of that particular workplace or event. On the other side of the spectrum, no one would expect you to wear a suit and Mac products at a festival or concert – although you’re being seen by just as many people.
There are times in life when we can’t act how we want, where we can’t let our Id and desires go and ravish and pillage until it’s satisfied. There are similarly times when we can act like a complete wazzock and make out with someone’s boyfriend and get too drunk and fall asleep in the bath. The middle ground is where it’s at – using our perceptions to figure this one out because honey, no son of a gun is going to tell us what to do so it’s all ok. But it will be. Regardless, because these are the years when we can mess up – a lot – and we still have a time to start again. So I’ll be living a balance of images, taking a few more risks concerning image and lifestyle choices, and hey I’ll probably share with all you lucky buggers.
Love Em. x