Assisting Oedipus – Almeida Projects Blog

This blog post was originally written and hosted by the Almeida Theatre website – Link available here: http://almeida.co.uk/almeida-greeks-assisting-oedipus

Photo Credit: Peter Schiazza

Being a bit of a geek, I was so excited when the Almeida announced its Greek season. That’s not to say that only bookworms can appreciate the Greeks, although there seems to be a certain level of expectation when it comes to putting on one of Euripides’ or Sophocles’ classics.

What I didn’t expect, and continue to be surprised by, is the fact that I don’t need to go back through my old school papers and research in order to understand what’s happening on the Almeida stage this summer. By accessing the humanity and layered drama available in the text, Greek texts are no longer just for the person with a re-published copy of The Iliad sitting on his or her mahogany bookshelf.

Naturally, when Director Chris Lawson asked me to assist him on Oedipus, I had two thoughts. The first was that I felt absolutely honoured to be asked in the first place to do exactly the sort of work I love to do; the second was, “Holy crap, Oedipus? Man your stations, Project Gutenberg, I’m coming in for a landing.” But in sitting down and discussing the text at length with Lawson and writer Jon Barton, I realised that this was by far from a “classic” interpretation of the text, and leading warms-ups weren’t simply going to be about getting the body ready for lengthy speeches.

Barton’s version of Sophocles’ latter text achieves the edgy tension of popular political dramas, as well as a freshness and familiarity that comes from being a young writer. The best way to describe it in this modern world might be #MadMenFeaturingOedipus, or #HouseOfCardsMeetsGreekTragedy.

Going into auditions, we realised that not only did we need actors who could tackle the text in two weeks (yikes!), we also needed people who were able to constantly shift, change and bring new ideas and interpretations to the table – there was simply no room to fade into the background. The talents and professionalism of every young actor who walked in the door outstanding, and we eventually found our cast.

Developing personas and flavouring characters is one of Lawson’s fortes, never imposing his own concept onto a character, but asking questions and setting tasks in order for each actor to own the story they are telling. The world of the play is very specific, and in the first week Lawson set the cast tasks that focused on everyday people that we encounter on the bus or in the bank. By tackling specifics in a tangible, physical world early on, the setting is always at the back of their minds.

The first couple of rehearsals can be crucial for achieving a connected company that is willing to leave their comfort zones. This, alongside the infamous nature of the text, is a challenging production for performers in the early days of their career. The journey usually starts with a combination of competition, exhaustion and laughter: through some level physical exertion, an actor is engaging their body. Through competition, they give it purpose. And through laughter, they relax. An engaged, informed actor, giving the impression (at least) that they are at ease with their craft – what better way to start a rehearsal?

The amount we have accomplished in such a short space of time is plainly staggering but delightful. I have no doubt that this is going to be a very exciting production, and I feel incredibly privileged to have this opportunity to work with such wonderful and committed team.

Oedipus | 28 August 2015

Edinburgh FringeReview 2015: Boys Who Like To Play With Dolls – Tereza Ondrová, Peter Šavel, ALT@RT

Written and originally hosted at FringeReview. Link: http://fringereview.co.uk/review/edinburgh-fringe/2015/boys-who-like-to-play-with-dolls/

Ondrová and Šavel strip the topic of gender down to the bare bones of physicality, in a thought-provoking reflection that explores popular discussions on gender formation. The two dancers morph from one gender to another, presenting the audience with a fantasy world undefined by reproductive organs.

Photo Credit: Antonin Matejovsky

The venue (Dance Base) clearly likes its pieces hot off the Harlequin dance studios, inviting some of the freshest choreographies in the field. This performance is no exception; these ALT@RT associates (an organisation that prides itself in explorative collaboration) have achieved a level of dance theatre that tackles a well-discussed issue in an undoubtedly interesting way. Gender isn’t black and white, as these two highly skilled dancers melt from one to the other, seamlessly before our eyes. Through striking imagery and hints at contemporary culture awareness, the piece presents a series of intelligent views, in a highly accessible way.

We are greeted by Ondrová and Šavel’s voices before the doors open, the duo situated downstage talking nonstop as we enter. The use of mixed languages is established here, and remains a delight for the rest of the piece – expressing the influences of the production as well as cleverly tackling the duality of the context. In both languages, we hear a barrage of doubts, insecurities, tensions, and adrenalin, as if pulled directly from the psyches of a performer about to go on stage. The audience, ranging from professional dancers, to first time dance-theatre goers, were instantly diffused by this surprising warmth and humour.

The performers filled the stage with strong physical choices, which at times seemed too raw to be choreographed. The large white space left no room for hiding, as they furled and unfurled across the stage. Structurally, the piece could use work. It was uncertain how and why one piece abruptly changed into another, individual portions highly enjoyable but juxtaposed jarringly, with uncertain effect. The performers were often left standing on stage between pieces, adding further to their vulnerability after the clear physical exertions – a delight for the first few transitions but soon becoming tired.

Musical accompaniment periodically boomed overhead, which seemed to detract from the audience’s engagement more often than adding to it. It did add a further layer of themes and context, using classic scores mixed with very much contemporary beats in order to create a timeless affect, but the positioning of said scores around parts was off-putting. Much more enjoyable was the live percussion, sound, and song used by the artists themselves, inserting live soundscaping and vocalised gibberish, both nonsensical and recognisable at the same time.

The coordination and harmony of this impressive duo still is something to be seen, clearly benefitting from utter conviction of their androgynous roles, combined with the wonderful purity of the movement. The narrative shifts sometimes awkwardly between hilarious and haunting, but remains at all times honest. A solid blend of everyday movement, complimented by accessible and impressive contemporary dance that achieves its goals of questioning the ostensible nature of gender.

Published August 13, 2015 by Elizabeth Williams

Show Website

http://www.altart.cz/project/boys-who-like-to-play-with-dolls-2/?lang=en

Edinburgh FringeReview 2015: Dolls – Aurora Nova presents Cirk La Putyka

Written and originally hosted at FringeReview. Link: http://fringereview.co.uk/review/edinburgh-fringe/2015/dolls/

Combining dance, acrobatics, and aerial we follow these five impressive performers on an exploration concerning human interaction with dolls, and their malleable and throw away nature.

Photo credit: Tomáš Třeštík

We, as humans, have different uses for dolls in all stages of our life. At birth and throughout childhood, they become our best friends. As a teenager, we see them adorned in the clothes we want to wear and looking the way we think we should. As an adult, they provide a demonstration tool and a framework, as well as also providing something a little bit raunchier made from PVC. This show takes aims to look at why human beings generate these connections with these imitations of people, and what it means if something has no feeling or purpose once it is put down.

The performers are bounding across the stage even before the audience takes their seats. Award-winning company Cirk La Putyka know how to put on a show, as lights flash around a giant dollhouse structure at the back of the stage, every window filled with trinkets and shadows, each as intriguing as the one before. The energy of the artists is endless, as they run, jump, fall, and climb the spectacular set.

The structure of the show if formed of solos, duets, and group sequences, all executed with unimaginable precision. More than once, a performer landed so close to the edge of the stage, there was an audible gasp from the spectators. The trapeze work was electrifying, the element of risk vs. immeasurable skill that went into it easily the highlight of the show. There were several very good dance pieces, the solo at the beginning an odd way to begin but accomplished with a skilful fervour that flaunted the intelligent choreography. Group pieces were executed with expert precision, with constant surprises laid into striking images and stunning technique by all performers.

The majority of these moments seemed to border on an indulgence of having such capable performers, with some dance pieces becoming monotonous and repetitive, carried solely by physical ability. Nuanced performances influenced by Commedia were lost on the grand Lafayette stage. The title and main subject matter is an exciting prospect, that could have has the audience’s interests more rooted in its heart.  Certainly, the premise is covered extensively through a variety of careful considered reflections on the bonds between us and our controllable counterparts, but the structure of the plot and the clown heavy portrayals followed a confused and dense narrative. Overall, the production has flashes of absolute beauty, edge-of-your-seat skills, and undoubtedly breath-taking imagery, but struggles to achieve a convincing or distinguishable dramaturgy to match the physical fortitude.

Published August 16, 2015 by Elizabeth Williams

Show Website

http://www.auroranova.org/elu-dolls

Edinburgh FringeReview 2015: 64 Squares – Rhum and Clay Theatre Company

Written and originally hosted at FringeReview. Link: http://fringereview.co.uk/review/edinburgh-fringe/2015/64-squares/ 

B isn’t sure who they are; no, that wasn’t a grammar faux pas. Rhum and Clay take you on a journey of one person, whose obsession with chess splits him into four separate entities. Through an abundance of physical storytelling and live percussion, we join B as he tries to piece together his memories.

64 Squares, Rhum and Clay Theatre Company. Julian Spooner, Charlotte Dubery, & Matthew Wells. Photo: Richard Davenport

After a last minute crowdfunding pull, Rhum and Clay secured their spot at the Underbelly’s Big Belly stage. If this young company were unable to perform, it would have been a crime. 64 Squares rolls out piece after piece of impeccable storytelling, through a series of physical sequencing and contemporary techniques, switching from humour to heartache in an instant. The performers are all on stage throughout the hour long, sold out performance, and although hot and packed in, the audience were gripped from the first word.

We meet the four B’s, all wearing light blue jackets with the letter monographed in gold, the only clue he has to remind him of his former self. The era of the late 1930s is established by the three actors (Julian Spooner, Matthew Wells, and Róisín O’Mahony) and a live musician side of stage (Fred McLaren), who is equally integral to the performance. The narrative melds seamlessly with B’s discovery of himself and of the people he has met in his travels, each performer jumping in and out of a variety of characters with surgical precision.

The musical accompaniments are never overbearing, and perfectly matched with the rise and fall of an intelligent and highly original script. The audience knows who everyone is at all times, despite 90% of the show being in a constant multi-rolled cycle, achieved through clear direction, fully embodied characterisation, and pristine physical vision.

The Big Belly stage is a large shoe to fill, and a challenge that this skilful ensemble whole-heartedly accomplish. The cast personify an array of delightful characters that fill the stage, with an unapologetic determination that has the audience eating out of their hands. The space was in a constant state of flux, transformed from the belly of a boat, into a high-rise office and a dank prison cell, to name but a few. Through slick and economic transitions, dreamlike images melt from scene to scene, further portraying the company’s unique physical motifs and never straying from the plot.

The set served as a Swiss Army knife of bits and pieces for the company to play with. Costumes and props appeared and disappeared again in seconds, the performers using makeshift objects to add to tech. Although ostensibly a low budget solution, by playing with shadow and torch light, the organic, live aspects of the show not only kept you aware of the capability of the performers, but also immersed you further into the concept of being inside a man’s head; each memory was literally created, without depending on technical aspects which can easily remove audiences from a carefully crafted fictional world.

The quirky reality achieved by this stand out performance somehow successfully generates a warm familiarity alongside out of the ordinary concepts. Nothing was superfluous, every gesture, sound, and word contributing to our overall understanding with irresistible effect. With this winning combination of engaging historic memoirs and inventive contemporary movement, Rhum and Clay are fast becoming one of the decade’s most fresh and exciting physical companies.

Published August 12, 2015 by Elizabeth Williams

Show Website

http://www.rhumandclay.com/

Image of an Unknown Young Woman – The Gate Theatre

Image of an Unknown Young Woman

Where: The Gate Theatre, Notting Hill

When: 04 – 27 June

Tickets: http://www.gatetheatre.co.uk/

Photo Credit: Tristam Kenton 2015  – Anjana Vasan & Ashley Zhangazha              

18/06/2015 – Young People’s Night at The Gate Theatre

One to Watch: Anjana Vasan as Layla

Worth it For: The Image of an Unknown Young Woman

Sum in Five: Like. Share. Comment. Action. Consequence.

From stepping into the space, you can tell this performance is aimed towards young audiences. And by that, I definitely do not mean children. Far from it, as the audience walks into a room that you might expect to find in the Islington Metalworks, the music slightly louder than comfortable; and for good reason.

Christopher Haydon does not disappoint, challenging the audience with a crash of narratives, unifying them with the the question: “If it really mattered to you, ho far would you be willing to go?” The traverse staging disallows for any kind of passive viewing, alongside the minimalist set and design which forces you to fill in the blanks and put yourself a the heart of the issues.

An image of an unknown woman has been distributed far and wide from the solo source of a young man’s smart phone – reaching spaces that could be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The narrative is a comment on the Arab Spring, the 99% Occupy movement in the US, the Hong Kong protest, and the London student “riots”, at the same time as being none of the above.

Photo Credit: Unknown – Emilie Patry & Oliver Birch

Through an exploration of what is precisely real about reality, Facebook serving as the main source of current affairs, the excitement is shared and liked through the cast and audience alike. Surprise lies with every new link, pasted from the right now, and our high school history lessons. The Young Person’s Night post show talk reveals the true vulnerability of the actors, who all feel connected to the dystopian setting, their words suggesting they feel they are “saying something different for the first time, in a very different way” (Cast, 2015).

The concept, at least, is not a new one. On the contrary, it has been a popular theme for many new companies, due to the relevancy with the here and now, in term of social media and human empathy. Although unsure if it could stand the test of time, it does achieve the tones of both historic docu-drama and a breaking news report at the same time.

And one last thing…

Proof that multi-racial casting works, without making it the crux of the matter.

Elizabeth Mary Williams is a theatre practitioner from the Midlands, currently based in North London.

10 things you should really think about before casting your show…

I’ve been doing this game for a while now, and in no way am I saying I’m an expert. But there are one or two things that will make a warning light flash in my mind before I apply for a casting, and they crop up more than you might imagine. Here’s a breakdown of my casting faux pas, in no particular order:

1. Spelling and Grammar

I feel like this one should go without saying. It’s one thing to use the wrong “there”, “their” or “they’re” in a facebook status, but if you want committed and professional employees, you have to come across the same way in your casting call. I’m sure someone will spot a grammatical error in this post now and rip me a new one for it, but the message still stands. I have absolutely no problem answering a casting call from someone who may not have English as a first language, in fact some of the most interesting auditions I have been to have crossed intercultural boundaries, but I would strongly recommend getting an English friend to look over your advertisement before posting it on majority English accessed database.

 

2. Be honest

We all know Edinburgh shows and profit shares rarely make enough money for an actor to survive on, or a stapler to be honest. But you’ll find a great deal apply for them anyways. Why? Because you have a great product to offer. Interesting projects, especially ones that either train or hone exciting performance skills will get the numbers applying. By all means, if you are applying for funding, let us know, and let us know you have been successful in doing so in the past. Do not make accommodation or travel expense promises you know you might not be able to keep. In this climate, new young creatives are all in the same boat with our creative babies. We might as advertise with honesty; it’s sometimes the only thing we can have.

 

3. Know what you want

The worst casting calls I have been to are vague ones. Describing a half-baked idea about the concept of the project you want to create is not the impression you want to give a skeptical actor. Of course, in the devising process, things might not be finalised, especially in shows that are created from scratch from given stimuli or focus on style over narrative. Grand. But this is your project – and if you want it to succeed, you will have given it some thought as to what category at least you want the final product to fit into, and where. Do your research, and see if you can handle it, before asking others to handle it with you.

4. Don’t be a lone ranger

I get it, it’s your brainchild. Your passion. It’s come out of your very sinews. The best shows come from the absolute heart of a writer/director/choreographer etc. In running your work past friends you know, trust, and most importantly, have an understanding of the industry, you will iron out kinks you did not know it had, and stop you running blindly forwards into something that’s destined to stop prematurely. Get interested people on board in the creative process to figure out exactly what you want (refer to point 3) and chances are, they’ll have connections to like minded people who will see it the way you do.

 

5. Think big

I know this is slightly contradictory to point 2, but there’s a reason you are passionate about this project. That passion gives it the fuel to go places. Think about funding outside of Arts Council England and the National Lottery. Think about what makes your project unique, and who you can get on board to take it to the places it rightfully belongs after your fringe runs, rehearsed readings, and above pub venues. New writing is in right now. Ride that wave all the way to the west end. Why would someone believe in something you are willing to give up on after Edinburgh?

 

6. Schedule, Plan, Economise

In order to complete point 5, you need to make a realistic plan as to when you expect everything to be completed by, at each stage – and stick to it! Post production teams, I’m talking to you! The worst thing when an actor has spilled out their guts over a short film or music video is to wonder when it will be available for them to credit and add to their showreels. Give us dates, stick to them, and in future, we will be jumping to work with you again because of your professionalism. Even if things take longer than expected half way through editing, let us know (point 2 again). There is NO SUCH THING as being over prepared.

 

7. If you’re not happy, we’re not happy

Actors are children in need of constant love and attention. We can sense when you’re not enjoying what we’re doing with your work. But we’re not psychic. Figure out what you don’t like, and tell us. Sooner rather than later, so we don’t get caught up on an interpretation we’ve been working on for weeks. You don’t have to go overboard on the praise, but give us a clue if we’re heading in the right direction. If you don’t know what the right direction is, refer to point 3.

8. Remember, we’re only human

Not just the actor, every member of the production has other lives that they are fitting this around. Jobs, lovers, pets, family, friends, time to eat, clean laundry and casting calls (as there will be other casting calls that will conflict with your time, and handling them will determine whether you finish the project with a resentful or happy actor) to name but a few. A project I recently worked on had a performance time of 3pm. An actor had a casting half an hour away at 2pm. They arrived, warmed up and on time – why? Because they valued the project and respected their team. Time off, regardless of the fear of not getting enough done, is rewarded with loyalty and non-fatigued/smelly actors.

 

9. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

You’ve done your show once. It may have even got good/great reviews. Grand. No, sorry, bloody fantastic. You want to continue? Ok. But your actors may have to move on. Everything you’ve built so far is a concrete example of the great things you can achieve, and by no means forget that and start again. After a show, have a good long look at what worked, what didn’t work, when people got annoyed – including yourself. How can you save time and rectify this so that when a new person, either on stage or behind the scenes, joins the ranks they feel like they are  entering into an expanding and developing family of professionals – not trying to replace someone who you wish hadn’t left for that other project.

 

10. When life gives you lemons…

They’re usually squeezed painfully into your eyes in the form of a rights revocation, an actor dropping out last minute due to personal problems, or the space in which you had placed your deposit being marked as an unsafe building. Rather than try and risk putting people in danger of asbestos poisoning, pool the resources you have – because you have more than you think. Fight the hell back, even if everything appears to be going wrong, because it is your job to make the idea you had in your head a reality. Even if that means that your piece is no longer site specific, and it set end on – you have the creative talents as both an individual and as a unified group of creative folk to make sure the show goes on – altered perhaps, but sometimes this even works out the better.

 

Keep at it, creatives. That’s all from me for now.

Em x

Listlessness and Lustfulness

 

 

Storm clouds brew in my belly, thunder cracks through my temples, and refuge is taken where bathrooms are easily accessed.
I have been a bit under the weather, to put it politely.

About the time I began this blog, I wrote some lists. I recently found these lists, and re-read them. My housemate told me that they should be put into a performance piece, but we’ll see about that. I can feel my creative side growing and pulsing again, getting ready to hatch out new dastardly schemes. Watch this space. In the meantime, may I encourage you all to make lists in times of listlessness, in order to give you something to look back on, and smile whence desire is achieved.

 

What I want from a place

• A place I don’t feel I’m settling for
• Space to think, breathe, meditate
• Space to sew
• Not necessarily a double bed, as long as there is floor space for a den pit ^^
• Somewhere to work – properly
• Desk or surface
• A window that I look out of more often – and can open
• Warmth
• A community – at least two people I think, that I can go to the pub with
• Enough plug sockets
• To be able to put up posters and hang things
• Shelving
• Places to be able to hang things, and see what I hang
• To not be in constant fear of my stuff being destroyed by carelessness or vindictiveness
• A living room or area
• Somewhere I can cook
• Somewhere I can do yoga
• A place to grow/steal herbs
• A place to listen and potentially share music
• People who play some instruments
• A sense of community with foodstuffs and utensils

What I want from a partner

• Someone who makes me laugh so hard snot comes out my nose and my stomach aches the next day
• Someone who thinks I’m attractive even with snot coming out my nose
• Someone I don’t feel I’m settling for
• Someone who’s willing to go on an adventure
• Someone who is confident
• Someone who realises the world is bigger than they are
• Someone who believes in selflessness
• Someone who regularly commits random acts of kindness, like, once a year
• Someone who wouldn’t dream of stealing a bike
• Eyes that look at me
• Eyes that you want to pick apart every freckle of
• Someone who is up front about their problems
• Someone who isn’t scared of me
• Someone who smiles; fully, not smirks
• Someone who will praise me
• Someone who actually believes what they’re saying
• Someone who may be mediocre in bed, but is willing to learn and explore and better themselves, rather than see it as a weakness
• Someone that can’t help exuding positivity
• Someone who is constantly in the company of other girls, but I know I have no need to feel jealous
• For that non-jealousy to be as a result of their commitment, not because they never close
• Someone who closes
• Someone who does nice things for me and doesn’t mark it as a brownie point
• Someone who thinks doing something nice for me on my birthday is not point worthy
• Someone who, if we’re in a relationship no matter how long, will still get me a present on my birthday
• Someone that I can think about when I’m alone
• Someone who looks at me during sex – not the whole time, but the majority.
• Someone who still gets  a buzz from my knee touching theirs
• Someone who knows their limits
• Someone who surpasses it sometimes anyways
• Someone that doesn’t see meaning in everything
• Someone who doesn’t idolise anything or anyone – guitars, musicians, bands especially.
• Someone who can actually, genuinely surprise me.
• Someone who buys me a present I actually can use
• Someone who buys me something ridiculous and romantic that will literally do nothing but gather dust but make me laugh and cry and inflate and swell up with love and appreciation
•  Someone who doesn’t need to compete with me
• Someone better than me
• Someone who doesn’t list my flaws
• Someone who doesn’t let me be a little whiney bitch

What I want from my career

• To work primarily in theatre roles
• To be able to classify it as my main income
• To have an agent that communicates with me  regularly
• To pursue making my body as good as it can be as my tool
• To have others approach me for roles
• To always have something to do – and do it
• To have the opportunity to take unpaid roles and not die trying
• To be fully involved in my role
• To constantly meet new groups of amazing performers
• To keep my positive attitude
• To realise that I have chosen it for a reason
• To realise my own potential

What I want from my survival job

• To not need it, but do it anyways
• To take time off from performing
• To have a steady income
• To use it to meet new likeminded young creatives
• To be on the pulse of new creative work

The next 6 things I need to do

• Sort out paperwork, and move into my new place DONE
• Sign up to a steady contemporary dance class by 01/02/2014 DONE
• Sell all unwanted crap or get rid of it by the time I move into my new place
• Finish my fucking essay DONE
• Contact companies to see if they take on work experience or interns for movement studies
• Aim to be out of my overdraft by 01/05/2014

 

I’ll check back in with you soon.

Em x

End of the Eyeliner

Today is April 1^st – and marks the end of my Make Up experiment. I feel I definitely need to apologise to those who may read my blog; I have been the busiest of souls, but this is no excuse. My facilitation course with the all girl school finished in a performance last week, as well as a 2 week research and development showcase for Whole Hog Theatre’s production of Princess Mononoke, as well as auditions here and there along the way. I haven’t seen my friends in a very long time…or the sun.

I have all the imaginary friends I need, thank you. I was basically Goo as a child…

I definitely feel as though it’s the end of…something. I’m no longer a represented artist, as I decided that I wanted to go freelance to explore my options for a while. This ended up happening the same day as my two week research and development rehearsals ended, and everyone who wasn’t London based slowly filtered out of my house, leaving me feeling very much exhausted, alone, and deflated. The empty wallet and lack of rich handsome man to take me out for dinner doesn’t seem to appease the situation, though cheap red wine is greatly improved by mulling – It’s seasonal, sure, but seasons are all year round, and Tesco is selling it off as excess stock (you heard it here first…)

Drinking can become a serious problem if you don’t train everyday…

I was constantly on tubes, writing down different things to write here about what’s happened to me over the last few weeks. It’s now a garbled bunch of notes that look like the lyrics to some kind of cult hymn, but let’s see what we can decipher. Here’s some stuff that I like to think I’ve learnt, or at least deduced:

1. ¾ Liz’s agree: Wearing makeup increases productivity by up to 40%…

If I’m preparing for an audition or interview and I have some slap on, I feel more confident, more mature (since I have the face of a child, seriously, nothing is worse than being ID-ed for Anadin…), and like I’ve made an effort for something or someone that I want to appear that way for. And think about it, wouldn’t you be happy to think someone had made an effort for you? Ok, a little far-stretched, I’d prefer chocolate but I think there’s an underlying comparison there.

 

2. Make Up and Men – Final feminist rant, I promise…

This was the worst thing about wearing makeup. I’ve walked down the streets near my home and work countless times wearing my workshop sweats and oversized coat because come on, this is England (good film, terrible weather). I honestly don’t know what goes through the minds of some men. I had some horrific things said to me by men of all colours and ages, but mainly older – 30+ up to 80 years old – with little sisters and daughters. Even when I had my baggiest of clothes on, as soon as they saw my face they made up their minds whether they’d like to bang me or not. Which is actually quite good, considering they can’t see other places and are looking at my face. I’d just love to know where along the way harassment became acceptable because dear lord am I fed up of feeling uncomfortable all the time. Rant over.

 

3. I’d take the extra half an hour in bed…

Second worst. Getting up extra early, doing it on the tube if I was late – just such a hassle. Like shaving my legs, only gonna do it if I know someone I care about is going to see.

 

4. Recognition

This was a weird one. Basically, some people stopped recognising me. I ran into people I knew on the tube, in the street, from all walks of life, and it took them a relatively long time to realise who I was. And it was always concluded with “Oh WOW, don’t you look well?” Yes, my manufactured rosy cheeks give the impression my body isn’t falling apart. Pity you can’t cover up coughing your lungs out and nose blowing. I always ended up with a red nose poking out of the foundation by the end of the day: Cover = Blown. Literally.

 

5. It’s all relative.

So I had many conversations with girls that went something like:

Them: Oh, I can’t imagine not wearing make up

Me: Why?

Them: Because I look ill without it.

Me: Really, what makes you say that?

Them: People always ask me if I’m feeling ok or say that I look tired – and I’m always like no…I just don’t have any make up on.

Me: But if you didn’t wear make up all the time, then that wouldn’t be a thing, because people would get used to you without make up rather than with?

Them: Yea but I couldn’t. I don’t have the face for it like you do. You have like, one of those faces that doesn’t need make up.

Then I’d probably get annoyed and give up because EVERYONE HAS A FACE THAT DOESN’T NEED MAKE UP. We choose to do it, for sure, fine, but to say it’s a necessary requirement because of your type of face – hahaha no. In fact, my skin has never been worse since I started wearing it, all kind of crazy blemishes and spots I haven’t had since the Days of Yore and Yellowcard. Basically, the only reason people say you look tired is because you wear is all the time, and it covers up most natural element of the face – which is what it’s supposed to do. If you want to avoid this response, then start to wean it out. Go to a tinted moisturiser, then just wear eye stuff (technical term). Also now’s the time – barefaced for cancer research awareness – everyone’s doing it for a good cause so any one who comments on your looking ‘tired’ is obviously satan. Feel free to tell them so.

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/?gclid=CNXOla6Qv70CFa-WtAodBksAHA

Conclusion?

I don’t have one. Like I said,  wasn’t doing this to have any great epiphany on the theories of female objectification and image. I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy some of the responses I got to wearing more make up. To be honest, I’ll probably do it more often now. Unfortunately, with the world constructed around us like it is, wearing makeup is the same of wearing a good suit. Except we have to buy fancy clothes and good make up. But that’s only necessary in circumstances where you have to confine your behaviour for professional purposes – so naturally, your appearance and demeanour aren’t actually natural. They’re matching the environment of that particular workplace or event. On the other side of the spectrum, no one would expect you to wear a suit and Mac products at a festival or concert – although you’re being seen by just as many people.

 

There are times in life when we can’t act how we want, where we can’t let our Id and desires go and ravish and pillage until it’s satisfied. There are similarly times when we can act like a complete wazzock and make out with someone’s boyfriend and get too drunk and fall asleep in the bath. The middle ground is where it’s at – using our perceptions to figure this one out because honey, no son of a gun is going to tell us what to do so it’s all ok. But it will be. Regardless, because these are the years when we can mess up – a lot – and we still have a time to start again. So I’ll be living a balance of images, taking a few more risks concerning image and lifestyle choices, and hey I’ll probably share with all you lucky buggers.

 

Love Em. x

Cocoon

First off, sorry it’s been a while. Life smacked me in the face with some new developments, some good, some bad, but all new and different. The extreme change that you must know from here on out, those who have read my earlier blogs will know I am taking part in an experiment of my own doing.

To recap: for the whole of February, I wore no makeup. Everyday life, interviews, auditions, dates – Bare faced.

It’s March now. And I am wearing make up for the whole month, all day, every day.

To be honest ladies and gents who do, I don’t know how. Waking up earlier and making sure it doesn’t look like I’ve been shot with Homer Simpson’s make-up gun invention (you know what I’m talking about…) is no mean feat at 6am before a long trip to work or a shoot. I was the recipient of funny looks on the train on my way to my bar job the other day, before I got in and realised I’d only put my slap on one eye. I’ve had prouder moments…

March 1^st saw me at one of my best friend’s birthday parties. It was on a boat. If there is a price to pay for being drunk, it’s probably boat related. The day of the party, I looked like so:

I am wearing clothes, and I am as tired as I look!

Now, this isn’t an uncommon sight for Central London on a Saturday night. But I remember clearly reaching my front door in my dress and can-barely-be-called heels, and feeling…well…scared. I was scared to step out of my front door primarily due to what I considered my increased chances of assault due to the way I looked. I realised how fucked that sounds, but guys, it’s something girls really consider. I have a friend who was assaulted on a tube a few months ago, and she blamed herself because she was wearing: “Skin coloured tights instead of opaque black ones.”

I feel like it’s fitting that it’s international women’s day, and gents, please do not get me wrong, I am in no way saying every guy is a sexual predator. But when you receive the media in the way we do, where sexual assault is a given topic present in at least two newspapers a day – behind X’s latest fling and Y’s possible baby bump, it can’t help but be at the fore front of your mind. After all, mamma always says, better to be safe than sorry.

I felt like I took a substantial risk walking out the door in clothes that were…just clothes. They weren’t slutty, I wasn’t showing much skin (I’m the kind of wears a coat in a summer breeze…), and I had just had a stage combat class in ju-jitsu locks that day, and I’m not really sure what point I’m making aside from the fact I wish I didn’t feel worried about that.

 

His Dark Materials Trilogy is overrated? I don’t think so, bitch.

Moving on as I have no idea how to segway from that, I mentioned that I work in a catholic girl school as a drama workshop facilitator? So the day finally came when they saw me with a face of make up. It did not go unnoticed. One girl with an attention disorder practically stared at my face, whilst mouthing “look at her face” to the rest of the class for about 20 minutes. “Miss, you look well pretty”, “Miss, why are you all dressed up?”, “Miss, how come you don’t always look like that?” I mean, I was stunned as I tried to get them to walk around the room neutrally at a slightly faster than pedestrian speed (one for the drama kids…).

I’m currently working on an exciting short film, where I get to play the title role for some incredibly talent students. It’s going to be playing at the BFI in Summer, but in the mean time, for more info, feel free to visit here: https://www.facebook.com/nikolaadapts?fref=ts

 

I’ll be in touch.

 

Em x

My Passion Vs. My Paycheck

A quick one on my gofundme page, everything is on there, but here it is in a simplified format.

I have to raise £1251.50 to continue my further education in facilitation. That’s not a lot of money to a lot of people – but an  awful lot to me right now. I’ve managed to raise from working my ass off, and the kindess of friends, family and strangers £1285 and I can barely believe it, but I am literally at the last hurdle.

Here is the link to my funding page: http://www.gofundme.com/passionvspaycheck

Here is the video explaining everything ever:

Please share.

Em x